shows that were cut down too early (part 2)

 

Ok Part one of my ’shows that were cut down too early’ apperently missed some. I knew this was the case as I was doing it but couldn’t come up with anything. This is still the case, I know I’m still missing some great shows but there’s part 2 of ’shows that were cut down too early’.

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The Naked Trucker and T-Bones: This gem of a show only lasted one short season (8 episodes) and has yet to see a DVD release. Staring Dave Allen as Naked Trucker, and the brillant David Koechner as Gerald ‘T-Bones’ Tibbons the show aired on Comedy Central.

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Chappelle’s Show: This one lasted longer than some of the others, 2.5 seasons I guess you could say. It was a brillant sketch show I’m pretty sure everyone knows about. Too bad Dave flaked out and the show was no more.

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Soul Man: ah it’s 1997, and what’s this? Dan Aykroyd has a new show coming on, fuck yeah. Dan was a revrend in this sictom, it was pretty funny, I enjoyed it. However I guess I was in the minority here because it didn’t last longer than a season or two.

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Star Trek: Enterprise: I was going to put this on the list, then I was going to leave it off but Now it’s half on. It’s on because it’s the best Star Trek series since the original and most people just brush it off. However the reason I was going to leave it off it it actually had a better run than I had remembered, going 4 or 5 seasons…

 

Monty Python on Jimmy Fallen

Ok WHAT.THE.FUCK. Monty Python is on Jimmy Fallen tonight. I’m filled with an odd mix of hate and excitement. I hate Jimmy Fallen, a lot. There’s no way he should have gotten the show he’s on now, he is not funny at all. However tonight I’m committing a comedy sin and I am watching his show. I do this because I have a great love for Monty Python, even as far as having a Python tattoo. I’m typing as watching. This is the first time I’ve seen his show to be fair so. He opens up with the famous Python “it’s….” which is a great tribute but makes me hate him even more. He goes into a god awful standup set which includes 2 jokes that might be good had they been delivered by someone good. The roots perform a short cover of the lumber jack song, which is actually pretty cool. I don’t like the roots but they get semi-respect from me.

Then Jimmy goes on to tell about when he discovered Monty Python and how he grew up with them, which makes me mad because this is something I can like the guy for. He goes from there to go into a big Python clip montage, which is amazing because Monty Python is amazing.

I take a minute to note during this commercial break that I am drinking so I’m hoping this stays coherent but if it doesn’t, that’s why.

Ugh, coming back from the commercial break he has Monty Python bumpers, awesome but undeserving of him!

JOHN CLEESE!! Apparently helping Jimmy drudge through a shitty sketch, I bet he classes up the place. I’ve already laughed more in the 2 min Cleese has been on the show than the 15 Fallen has been on. This is a fucking weird sketch, it’s Jimmy Fallen’s shityness clashing with John Cleese’s comedic greatness, it’s like oil and water displayed in comedy form, something I’ve truly never thought could be displayed in human form.

Fallen’s back says Python is the only guests tonight, awesome surprise. Another great surprise apparently Python has a new documentary airing soon, holy fuck I am stoked. But I still hate Fallen. The entire Monty Python group now comes out on the show (minus one of course) now! John Cleese demonstrates his amazingness  by knocking oven Fallen’s chair as he tries to sit down, that piece of shit should sit on the floor as he is below these great men. Sticking in classic Python form the gang is bringing the laughs without missing a beat as if they’d never been apart. Ridiculous randomness I may actually have to thank Jimmy for bringing these guys together again, I just with he wasn’t there too. I feel like King Dork right now eating this up like a pie in front of a fat girl. The new DVD Monty Python: Almost The Truth will come out on October 27, 2009, looking for a pre-order now. A big zing on Fallen just before the commercial break.  “Did you think the show would be a disaster?”  “Oh yeah, right before the monologue”

Oh god, a fucking Saw 6 commercial, but that’s another matter….

We were just clued in as to why Michael is missing, he is on a tour. HA apparently during the break the gang told the audience that he had died. We got 4 out of 6 of the members, pretty good if you ask me. Python members telling stories and bring out the laughs, I could watch this shit all day.

Holy shit, Eric Idle performing “Always look on the bright side of life” – fucking nerdgasm! I’m so regretting not DVRing this now. Aw and now the show is over, I never ever in my life thought I’d be disappointed to see a Jimmy Fallen show end, but that seemed way too short. This is no question the highlight of his career. I just wish they’d have been on a classy show like Conan instead of a shit fest like Fallen.

Ah and now after a quick flick through channels I find Brazil is on, a fucking great night. Jimmy Fallen gets a free ‘no shit on’ pass for the rest of the month, despite him personally bringing nothing to his show. Also, fuck Jimmy Fallen (that doesn’t count under the free pass).

shows that were cut down too early

A handful of shows that were canned too early, these are in no real order.

Titus: Titus had a pretty good run actually, not the longest running show but there have been more great shows that lasted longer. That being said I still feel this show was cut short, it was great and it got a raw deal at the end of the run. There’s even a couple unaired episodes if I’m not mistaken.

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Clerks: The Clerks cartoon, from the Kevin Smith movie, don’t remember it? Well that’s because it was barley on. I think there were like 6 episodes and 3 aired before they yanked this brilliance off the air. Go buy the DVD’s.

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Working: Fred Savage after the Wonder Years trying to break free of Kevin Arnold is in a comedy about working at an office, years before the office. Quality show, I think I watched every episode when it was on, for some reason it didn’t last very long and needs a DVD release.

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Futurama: I think this might be the longest lasting show on this list, it ran 4 seasons which really isn’t bad. It’s mainly on here because I can watch Futurama all fucking day. The movies were great and there’s apparently the show is coming back.

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Deadwood: This may be the best western show of all time. Was canceled way before it needed to be, it ran 2 or 3 seasons, and was obviously preparing for the next season when it was cut down. HBO dropped the ball on this one big time.

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Spider-man: The animated show that ran on FOX in the 90’s. This had a good run (I think, its hard to tell), but the main reason I have this listed is because of the way it ended. It was really abrupt and seemed to be going into a new storyline, Mary Jane was sucked into some kind of vortex and then, CANCELED!

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Undeclared: This show I just recently watched. Created by Judd Apatow and has the same cast of players you see in his movies. A comedy about a group of kids in collage freshmen year. After I finished watching the series on DVD (17 episodes) I just wanted more. This was an excellent show that should have lasted much much longer.

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The Critic: One of my favorite animated shows of all time, only gets 2 seasons. What the fuck is that? This show was/is brilliant.

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Undergrads: An animated comedy about kids starting out in collage. This was a great show, definitely should have gotten more than the single season it was left with.

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Mission Hill: One of my favorite single season animated shows, a kid in collage, his younger brother comes to live with him. From guys at the Simpsons, what went wrong? Nothing besides the fact it was canceled.

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Arrested Development: One of my favorite shows of all time. Most people agree, great cast, great direction, great writing, great everything. How the fuck did this get canned after 3 seasons. One of the dumbest decisions in TV history.

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Andy Richter Controls the Universe: Former Late Nite side kick to Conan O’Brien left the show to branch out to other things. One of those other things was this brilliant show. Andy worked in an office, and had random ‘what if’ type dreams, it was new, hilarious, and great. For some reason only lasted like a season and a half.

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The Adventures of Brisco County Jr.: Bruce Campbell of B horror movie fame is set in a western with sci-fi elements. A great show that could be pretty weird at times. This one only lasted a couple of seasons and abruptly ended with no closure as so many others do.

Shit that makes me mad at shows

Dude that brings drinks in or near the pit: Like really, why do you do this? You see people bouncing around and shit, and then you get bumped into and either get pissed and surprised it happened. Or even worse you spill that swill on me. Also, people smoking in the pit, don’t burn me motherfucker.

Asshole who comes to fight people under the mask of being at a show: I’m not talking about when you get hit or kicked by accident, that shit happens, people are just having fun and it’s a lot of bodies flying around. You know I’m talking about, the guy that shows up and is running around but hes not having fun like everyone else. This dumb prick thinks hes at a slipknot show or something throwing punches and shit, fuck that guy.

Asshole doing spin kicks in the pit: This has got to be the worst trend ever. Some assholes start doing spin kicks and ‘dancing’ and want everyone to clear away so they can show off their ’skills’. Stupidest fucking shit ever. The best thing I ever saw was at a Dwarves show 2 jackasses were trying to do this shit and a wave of old punk rockers just overtook them in a massive circle pit. They were confused and horrified, they didn’t know what the fuck was going on.

Guy that grabs the mic all the time: It’s cool if people are singing along, it’s all good fun. The thing I hate is when some douche in the crowd keeps grabbing the mic from the band and trying to sing the whole fucking set. People paid to see the band, not this asshole.

Guy that doesn’t stop crowd surfing: Crowd surfing is fun, and I’m not trying to say like one’s the limit. I mean the dude that runs up, jumps, then runs back on stage and does it again, repeat for 45 minutes. Give it a fucking break man.

Guy with the shit-locks that smacks me in the face with them: This may be my most hated thing at a show, although the spin kickers are a real real close second. You’re standing there enjoying the band, notice the dude next to you has shit-locks, you know the dreads that aren’t even braided, just kind of clumped together. And the dude either hasn’t showered or at the very least hasn’t washed his hair for at least a month. So you’ve got this smelly dude with disgusting hair standing next to you, then he starts to get into the music. Shaking his hair and shit, which starts to whip you in the face then OH GOD! You’ve got to take 8 showers when you get home to wash off the filth of god knows what was in that dude’s fucking hair.

Dude who pulls people into the pit: The guy that likes the pit too much. He’s so excited to be in it. When he bounces around sometimes he’ll grab someone standing on  the outside and no matter how much they fight it he tries to pull them in. Either just annoying them or ripping the fuck out of their shirt if he has to. Shit’s just annoying, if they want in they’ll jump in. Note: this doesn’t count if you’re pulling in your friends.

Hall of Fame Injustices

More people than you would think have been banned from the Baseball Hall of Fame sense it started, but I’d like to state the case for 2 players who should be in the hall of fame.

“Shoeless” Joe Jackson banned under Commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis. Eight players for the Chicago White Sox were banned in 1920 for conspiring with gamblers to throw the 1919 World Series in the Black Sox scandal. It’s a pretty intresting story actually and most of them are scumbags for doing it. But I think Joe Jackson was a case of the wrong place at the wrong time, I do not believe that he had anything to do with this, just happened to be on the team. The other players should be banned but “Shoeless” Joe Jackson Should bein the Hall of Fame.

Pete Rose, “Charlie Hustle”, all-time Major League leader in hits (4,256), games played (3,562), at-bats (14,053), and outs (10,328). He won three World Series rings, three batting titles, one Most Valuable Player Award, two Gold Gloves, the Rookie of the Year Award, and made 17 All-Star appearances at an unequaled five different positions (2B, LF, RF, 3B & 1B). Banned under Commissioner A. Bartlett Giamatti. Why? because he gambled. Now normally I’d say sure, a player shouldn’t be gambling and such, but Pete Rose never bet against his team. So what is that? Well yeah, it’s gambling, but it’s also motivation to win. If Pete Rose had bet against his team that would have been motivation for throwing games and all kinds of seedy shit, but as it stands he did not. Baised on that, there is no way Pete Rose should not be in the Hall of Fame, no harm no faul.

Rose was granted a concession in which he could apply for reinstatement once a year for as long as he lived. As of 2006, he has applied for reinstatement twice. Commissioners Fay Vincent and Bud Selig have both refused to act on the respective reinstatement requests.

“Shoeless” Joe Jackson banned under Commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis. Eight players for the Chicago White Sox were banned in 1920 for conspiring with gamblers to throw the 1919 World Series in the Black Sox scandal. It’s a pretty interesting story actually and most of them are scumbags for doing it. But I think Joe Jackson was a case of the wrong place at the wrong time, I do not believe that he had anything to do with this, just happened to be on the team. The other players should be banned but “Shoeless” Joe Jackson Should be in the Hall of Fame.

Pete Rose, “Charlie Hustle”, all-time Major League leader in hits (4,256), games played (3,562), at-bats (14,053), and outs (10,328). He won three World Series rings, three batting titles, one Most Valuable Player Award, two Gold Gloves, the Rookie of the Year Award, and made 17 All-Star appearances at an unequaled five different positions (2B, LF, RF, 3B & 1B). Banned under Commissioner A. Bartlett Giamatti. Why? because he gambled. Now normally I’d say sure, a player shouldn’t be gambling and such, but Pete Rose never bet against his team. So what is that? Well yeah, it’s gambling, but it’s also motivation to win. If Pete Rose had bet against his team that would have been motivation for throwing games and all kinds of seedy shit, but as it stands he did not. Based on that, there is no way Pete Rose should not be in the Hall of Fame, no harm no faul.

Rose was granted a concession in which he could apply for reinstatement once a year for as long as he lived. As of 2006, he has applied for reinstatement twice. Commissioners Fay Vincent and Bud Selig have both refused to act on the respective reinstatement requests.

Orioles trade Huff!!!

The Orioles traded first baseman Aubrey Huff to the Detroit Tigers today for Single-A right-handed reliever Brett Jacobson.

Ranked 10th in Detroit’s system by Baseball America heading into 2009, the 6-foot-6, 205-pound Jacobson was a 2008 fourth-round pick out of Vanderbilt University.

This is great new, the news I’ve been waiting to hear for two seasons now. We are finally read of that arrogant piece of shit dead weight, and it appears we may have gotten something pretty nice in the deal. I cannot express how happy I am right now, no longer will be be plagued by the cancer that is Aubrey Huff. That shit eater is now someone else’s problem.

scumbag to the soul

Ever meet someone so shitty, so disgusting you just do not like them at all. Then you think you’ve come terms with how shitty they are so it’s almost stable until you find out that they’re even shitter than you ever imagined they were? Like so bad it disturbs you and you just can’t stand them at all now. Like they’re so bad they make some of the evil people throughout history seem not so bad.

Fuck Johnny Damon

Ok so we all know by now there’s a new Yankee Stadium, so some reading first off in case you don’t know.

http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/story/10983989
http://www.fannation.com/truth_and_rumors/view/67230
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3598021

The 3rd one is basically what this is about, the first two are to just point out what crooks the Yankees are. The new stadium was built and specifically engineered to cheat and give the Yankee’s free home runs, don’t give me that ‘oh they didn’t know bullshit’ fuck them, they did it and they knew it. When it was built not only did it cost everyone but the Yankees a ton of money it also took a local park away from the kids in the area. And before you start that ‘go to another park’ shit, for a lot of these kids this is the only park within walking distance. I beleave the next closest one is about three miles away, I could be wrong about that, but whatever, its close. The state had no intentions to originally do anything about this besides say ‘fuck the kids’. But I guess at some point they caved and now plan to knock down the old stadium and build a new park on that sight.
Enter Johnny Damon, douchebag. He is starting a petition to keep the old Stadium and fuck the kids out of a park (again), what a rat-faced bastard. The first thing people will most likely say to come to his defense is “oh but the nostalgia and the history of the stadium, he has to stay, its a historical landmark”. Fuck you. They tore down Memorial Stadium, they tore down fucking Wrigley Field, New York is nothing special.
Actually I take that back, no no let’s not knock down Yankee Stadium, instead lets burn it down. Come on, it’s a great idea, if we all agree to burn down Yankee Stadium I will drive to new york just to piss on the ashes, I’ll even bring lighter fluid and matches, the city won’t have to shell out a dime.
Fuck Johnny Damon, fuck the new york yankees, and fuck anyone that supports them.

Baltimore Orioles make a trade

The Baltimore Orioles made their first mid-season trade on Sunday. Hopefully this isn’t their last because I’m still holding out for that Aubrey Huff Trade.
What did happen was we got reliever Cla Meredith from the Padres in exchange for infielder Oscar Salazar. A pretty decent trade, that works out for both sides. The Orioles bullpen is in some need of people that can get the job done, and while Cla might not be an all-star he’s a pretty decent pitcher that I think will be a good addition. He’s 26 so he has the age to be here a while and so far this year he’s 4-2 with a 4.17 ERA. For his career, the right-hander is 14-12 with a 3.49 ERA.
What we gave up was Oscar Salazar who is a little older at 31 but still not over the hill by any means. He might be the Orioles best off the bench player, he’s tied for the American League lead with four pinch-hits and batting .364 (4-for-11) with one home run and three RBIs in those situations.

work irksomes aka how not to act like a jackass

Here are a few things, that if you do, I will want to smash your skull with a ball peen hammer:

If you go somewhere or call somewhere on a weekend or late at night, don’t say “I didn’t think you guys would be open”. That instantly enrages us, why the fuck would you bother with contact if you thought the place would be closed? That’s pretty fucking stupid.

Also small talk, espically about the weather, don’t do it. Everytime someone asks how’s the weather I can’t decide weather I want to ignore them while they’re being run over in traffic or simply punch them in the teeth. When asked this question I instantly respond with “I have no idea, I’m in the middle of a room with no windows and haven’t been outside for a long time” so they can understand what kind of doungin trap I get to hang out in while assisting them mind numbing tasks because they’re too dumb not to fuck with things they don’t understand. Side note, the response I give to that question is 100% true. All small talk does is make me more annoyed with you, it’s always some trivial bullshit that no one gives a flying dog fuck about. The only thing small talk does is make me hate you more. I’d rather be there with the awkard silence that seems to make you so nevious. If you’re going to attempt some type of chit chat at least make it intresting then maybe I won’t want to rip out your juglier. Tell me about the time you chaised some neiborhood kids with a chainsaw, or ask how many firecrackers I threw at yankees fans last ball game I went to. Then maybe I’d be intrested in talking to you to kill some time.

This sinerio:

Customer: “Hi how are you, blahblahblahblah”

If your going to greet someone with a question give a second for an answer don’t just continue your sentense. It’s not only rude it makes you look like a fucking idiot. A question is not a random greeting, questions are ment for answers, fucknut.

People who insist on sending an email with nothing in the body, but for some reason write everything in the subject line of the email. Learn to use fucking email! If you don’t know how to use it properly, or even close to right, do not use it at all. It’s hard to read and makes you look incredibally stupid, not to mention highly unprofessional.

If you go somewhere or call somewhere on a weekend or late at night, don’t say “I didn’t think you guys would be open”. That instantly enrages us, why the fuck would you bother with contact if you thought the place would be closed? That’s pretty fucking stupid.

Also small talk, especially about the weather, don’t do it. Every time someone asks how’s the weather I can’t decide weather I want to ignore them while they’re being run over in traffic or simply punch them in the teeth. When asked this question I instantly respond with “I have no idea, I’m in the middle of a room with no windows and haven’t been outside for a long time” so they can understand what kind of dungeon trap I get to hang out in while assisting them mind numbing tasks because they’re too dumb not to fuck with things they don’t understand. Side note, the response I give to that question is 100% true. All small talk does is make me more annoyed with you, it’s always some trivial bullshit that no one gives a flying dog fuck about. The only thing small talk does is make me hate you more. I’d rather be there with the awkward silence that seems to make you so nervous. If you’re going to attempt some type of chit chat at least make it interesting then maybe I won’t want to rip out your jugular. Tell me about the time you chased some neighborhood kids with a chainsaw, or ask how many firecrackers I threw at yankees fans last ball game I went to. Then maybe I’d be interested in talking to you to kill some time.

This scenario:

Customer: “Hi how are you, blahblahblahblah”

If your going to greet someone with a question give a second for an answer don’t just continue your sentence. It’s not only rude it makes you look like a fucking idiot. A question is not a random greeting, questions are meant for answers, fucknut.

People who insist on sending an email with nothing in the body, but for some reason write everything in the subject line of the email. Learn to use fucking email! If you don’t know how to use it properly, or even close to right, do not use it at all. It’s hard to read and makes you look incredibly stupid, not to mention highly unprofessional.